I would like to call myself an honest person. Someone who doesn’t lie at all and who upholds the truth as a strict law to abide by. Unfortunately, this itself is far from the truth.
I lie. Actually, I lie a lot.
I don’t even lie over complexed issues anymore. I lie even about the simplest of things. Why? Because it has become habitual to lie. I no longer lie because I have to or to save my face, I lie because I am so used to lying that it feels like I am telling the truth. The worst of it all is that I’ve actually started to believe in my lies as if they were biblical truths.
There was a time when I would lie and make it seem as fake as possible on purpose in order to give the illusion that I am bad in telling lies, so that when I do lie and it seems convincing, no one would doubt it. I have come to see that it is compulsive and it just happens.
This is an issue I will have to work out on my own. I have to extra precaution before I open my mouth as the last thing I would want to do is to speak of things that are fictional as though it is non-fictional.
I seem to like building my own version of reality where my mouth spits out garbage decorated as facts. Here’s to eradication of this problem.