It’s been almost a good year since I entered college. From it, I’ve deduced that college life is exactly what it’s been cranked up to be. Last minute assignments, late night studying, a bit of partying and all around stress from trying to accumulate a reasonably high GPA. The most crummy part of being a transfer student who is destined to transfer to an American university in the foreseeable future is the issue of finances. Money money money.
I’ve learned that money is not the root of all evil despite what my Catholic class teacher would used to drill into my head. The fear of the lack of money is the true root of evil. Every time the thought of treating a friend or buying something pops up in my head, another thought that would spring up to stop this would be the thought of being broke. I’ve been in many instances where I had to go through a week with twenty ringgit or so. You can’t blame anyone but yourself for being so broke. You can’t blame your parents as they provide you with endless opportunities to discover yourself. You can’t blame the products that have supposedly filled your mind with desire. No. It is just you, you and you.
These days, I’ve resulted to shopping less. Buying only essentials such as food and toiletries. I’ve taken up a part time job at college to try to make extra income. It sucks that there is so little that I can do since I’m preoccupied as a college student which always has to be my first and foremost priority. A college student that is somewhat of a financial burden to my parents. I wish I could fast forward a few years into entry-level employment where I can rely on myself to provide the cash and not my parents. All this financial issues has made me very jaded, selfish and stingy to the point that I am a second guess every purchase. Even a friggin’ one ringgit slice of bread.
In moments of total frustration, I would always calm down and remind myself of all those people who are doing much worse because of circumstance. I try hard to be grateful and appreciative. I’ve seen the movie about The Secret, I’ve read books on gratitude and the law of attraction, I’ve googled ways of being more appreciative and to attract desires on a weekly basis. You know those type of people who spend endless amounts of time trying to find solutions to problems without living in the now and just simply enforcing action despite constantly ranting? Well that’s me. It is a bad habit, I know it is.
A note to myself:
Be grateful man. There are people with way more problematic lives with way less complaining. Stop being a bitch to yourself and the Universe. You will do great, you will go on to do great things. Now stand up and do something!
I am Joshua. I am 19 years old. I’ve decided that ranting is no longer something that I want to force on towards my loved ones as any problem I have is mine and mine alone so I shall rant on this blog instead.